Questioning

Am I too real? Too intense? Too vocal? Too willing to be open?

To be honest? To be true? To evoke the emotional?

When I tried to "not" be those things, I lost my voice. I'll be dammed if I'm going to lose it again.

It scares some people though. To be close to emotions - others emotions, or worse yet, their own.

Is it a desperate need to maintain a level of control? The discomfort of newness? The fear of vulnerability?

Or is it the inability to have both feet planted in reality?

I ponder these questions tonight after receiving an apology for not attending my book presentation out of fear of what would be said, or read. Out of fear that it would have been too emotional.

Really?