Frustrating Saturday - Good Sunday

“Before fixing what you’re looking at, check what you’re looking through.”

“Got a dirty eye, see a dirty world.”

“And so often, we suffer the mood of a dirty window, believing the brilliant world gray.”

 Mark Nepo

The above quotes was the beginning of my day on Saturday. 

I got off to a bad start. I had a dirty eye and I was seeing a dirty world. I had a big day planned, wanted to get lots done on my Saturday off and I was annoyed at having to deal with my busted iPhone. I got frustrated trying to figure out how to save the information on my phone onto my computer.

I was also frustrated with trying to save the audio of the course I’m taking onto iTunes and running into trouble with that as well. I could see my precious time slipping by. My frustration at my lack of knowledge about technology was mounting and my eye was getting dirtier by the minute.  

I decided to make a tip to town to see about getting a new phone. I knew that if they didn’t have the phone I needed at the Source they would have to order one but if they did have it, it would take a good chunk of time to get all my information transferred over to the new phone and all the settings back to where I want them.

The other thing nagging at me was that I wanted to cut the lawn and till the garden but didn’t have a mower or a tiller to work with. Since I was taking care of the neighbor's yard last year, I was using their equipment to do my yard but I’m not looking after their place this year so it leaves me with no equipment to do my own work. This too annoyed and frustrated me and got me increasingly pissed off made evident by the few choice words that spilled out of my mouth.

I decided to make a second trip to town to see about the possibility of renting a mower and a tiller. 

To make a long story short, I was told I couldn't rent either one but ended up finding a second hand mower from the guy who worked at the rental shop and buying a small electric tiller from the store next door.

So there, now the lawn would get cut and the garden would get tilled but only after I finished the inside project which was to prep one of our bedrooms so it would be ready to paint this coming week. This had to be top priority on my "to-do" list. 

I returned home and got down to business of filling in cracks and holes, sanding and washing the walls but every few minutes I'd glance out the window and the sun was shinning and the mercury was rising on the thermometer and I was stuck inside and frustration and resentment were building inside me.

What I really wanted, I realized, was to be doing some work outside and later to sit in the sun and listen to the audios from the course I’m taking and do some writing.

So that’s what was going on! That was the real issue. Not the work I had to do but the fact that I don’t’ (or didn’t) have what I needed to work with. The fact that I wanted to be doing things outside and the fact that I wanted to work on my course and do some writing. 

Once I realized the real source of my frustration, I was able to look through different colored glasses.

I started by changing my thoughts from “I have to” to “I choose to.”

Then I turned my not so nice “choice” words to; “Change your attitude. Quit looking at what you can’t do and look at what you can do. Know that in the end you are making the choices. No one is making you do these things and what you're doing is bringing negative energy onto yourself. It’s time to switch gears.”And I did. 

And in the end it was a great day. I worked hard but I got lots done. Once I started the clean up after all the sanding I figured I might as well keep going and clean the whole house so I could relax for Mother's Day.

With a shift in attitude, it felt good to get things out of the way and today I was able to concentrate on doing what I love doing. 

No agenda. No time frame. No have to’s.

That, along with the words "I love you” from my 3 daughters, made for a wonderful Mother’s Day.