I Fell Off The Wagon

Today is June 3rd. My last entry here was May 5th. 

Yup! I fell off the wagon. Big time!

Busy at the job. Trips to Edmonton. Yard work. Planting the garden. Helping people out. Company staying over. Emails to answer. Committed to a daily practice. Blah, blah, blah. 

The bottom line is there's no excuse for staying away from writing, especially not when it's what one loves doing. None!

I'm dusting myself off and getting back on. 

At first I said I would commit to at least one sentence a day. Uh huh...... What happened to that? 

Here's how it goes. By the time I get my butt in the chair, it's 10 or 11 pm, or midnight, or some ungodly hour and I know if I start writing, the risk is I won't get any sleep at all. Why? Because I can't stop at one sentence. (Just like I'm doing now.) 

So instead of signing in and dropping a sentence or two, I end up not posting at all because I know that once I pick up the pen or sit at the keyboard, it's like eating popcorn. One bite and I'm a gonner!

These are for you Barbara. 

How I miss you. Your words. Our phone conversations. Our Skype visits.  Our exchange about books, paintings, nature, children, grief, addictions, and life in the real world. I miss your letters, your no bullshit way of saying it how it was and your many fearless ways of sharing from the deepest part of yourself. 

I know darn well if I could share these lilacs with you as I did so many times over Skype before - with you in New Orleans and myself on the prairies of Northern Alberta, it would warm your heart and once more bring tears to your eyes. 

Your voice echos in my ears. "Oh, you've made my day! They are so beautiful. I can smell them from here!"

And I would respond. "You are so very welcome. They are for you. With love."