Tuesday, 25 April 2017

Sometimes You Gotta Do What You Gotta Do

Hi Kate.

On your newsletter of April 17th, (which I very much enjoyed reading by the way), your last statement was a comment addressed to me. It said:

"Annette, you haven't posted to your blog in a long time. What's going on?"

I gotta say, I admire  you Kate. You are always very diligent about posting to your blog. I wish I had the same kind of perseverance but sooner or later, I find I have too many balls up in the air and somethings gotta give. What do I drop the ball on. My blog of course.

To be quite honest, even though I enjoy posting, I find it quite time consuming. It takes me a long time to make a post. I'm a slow writer and I often struggle with silly things like posting pictures and the logistics of it all. I know. Practice makes perfect and the more I do it the better and quicker I'll get, but I keep thinking there must be a simpler way to do things that I still haven't caught on to. Then again, maybe not.

I last posted on March 20th and lots has happened since then but nothing hugely significant that I can use as an excuse for disappearing into the ethers of the online world. Unless I count becoming an official senior citizen pensioner as such. But really, age is just a number isn't it? I don't feel any different than at 58 or at 64 except that now I'm always getting asked, "When are you going to retire?"

Maybe that question is the kicker that made me say, "fuck it" to the thought of starting to blog at 10 or 11 at night. Instead I chose to either sit back and read a memoir, write in my paper journal which seems to require much less effort, go for a walk, or run a hot bath with essential oils, lean back and relax with some inspirational music. Those choices felt much more inviting than another hour or so at the computer after just finishing with client files and book work for the day.  

Part of me feels very relieved not putting any pressure on myself to show up on my blog, (and I keep telling myself, not very many people know that I blog and who the hell cares anyway) but another part of me feels rather disappointed in myself, and like I'm cheating myself out of the thing I love the most which is writing (and so what if I can't manage it every day and it's not perfect).

Oh yes, While I wasn't posting here, I did a couple of trips to Grande Prairie, one to High River for 5 days where I met up with my three daughters and 5 grandchildren to celebrate my birthday over Easter, had another birthday celebration at a friend's house over here, cleaned and washed walls and windows as a contract job in a pretty big house, delivered a chair to our friend Marcel and visited with him one night, I've been putting together a course which I've called, Facing Death, Embracing Life, and what else? Oh ya, I downloaded this writing app on my phone and have been doing some timed writings in my paper journal which I've enjoyed doing. There's some pretty good questions which are fun to write to.

Okay, well you're likely yawning away by now and, if you've made it this far, wondering when this post is going to come to an end. So here it is. The End.

Hugs to you,