Thursday, 30 April 2015

Today I Intend To Focus On

Making the world right in the only way I know how – by doing the right thing myself, by continuing to ask for guidance for myself and for everyone else so we can be on the Red Road, not only as individuals but as a family, a community, a nation and a world.

My focus is to live Oneness so that those who come into my life can also feel this Oneness and want to make it part of their lives too.

My focus is to walk my talk, to live in a sacred manner, to be the role model I wish the world to be.

Instead of focusing on violence, war, arguments, what is annoying and what doesn’t work, I will focus on what should and can be.

My focus is to live love. I believe love is the greatest weapon there is to change the non-love that exists. Love can change and heal lives. That will be my focus today. It will be to live LOVE.

Right now, as I sit outside to write this – where I am somewhat sheltered from the wind, the sun beams down on me, welcomes me, makes me feel warm even thought the wind is a cold and relentless wind.

My focus is on the love in my heart, the warmth of the sun, the opportunity to sit outside in the fresh air, the time to myself to appreciate. This is how I choose to look at today instead of looking at it as another day of bloody wind and how it takes away from a pleasurable day.

Here in this small way, right here, right now, this is my focus. This leaves me feeling the love I want to be; today, tomorrow and every day.

End of the day reflection:  Love is warm and soothing. Even though it was cold outside, I was warm in my heart. It made for a good day.

Sunday, 26 April 2015

Book Club Night

And what a night it was! I thought I would be there for an hour or so. Wrong. I arrived at 7 pm with an open mind but no idea what to expect. I left at 11:30 pm with my heart full and my head spinning with the discussions and comments from the evening.

The women, most of whom had read my book and a few who hadn't yet, were honoured that I was attending their discussion night. They had many questions about the life issues my book touches on, my journey and my process and they spoke about what it had awakened or touched in them.

It was a huge blessing to witness first hand that the book is doing what I hoped it would do. It is bringing readers to a place of inner reflection, a place where it is okay to speak openly, to be vulnerable, share, discuss, acknowledge and accept one another wherever we are at on our journey.

What an experience it was to walk into a room full of strangers and to leave a few hours later giving everyone a genuine heart felt hug as a result of having lived a deep inner connection that brought us together as One. A truly rewarding experience that I hold close to my heart and feel very fortunate to have had.

One of the comments I received the next day was that it was one of the best book club nights the women ever had and that I had touched quite a few hearts that night. And for that I am grateful and I say, thank you.

Thursday, 23 April 2015

Fifteen Years In the Making. Freaky!

I picked up an old journal of mine today. This is the passage I read.

Nov. 19/2000
"There went that flash across my mind and that thug at my heart again. I see myself reading and speaking my words to people. Connecting with others at a soul level. Why? Why is it always there poking it’s head out at me anytime, anywhere, even when I’m in a completely different world, completely removed from writing. It’s like a recurring dream only I’m always wide awake. It’s almost spooky, a phantom in the daylight.

Sometimes I wonder why I don’t just push life out of the way and write. Do nothing else but write as much as I want. Do things that are connected with writing all day long. Why don’t I just do it? What would happen to the rest of the stuff where my energies go now? Would the place fall apart? Would the world quit spinning? Would I starve? Would I have to give up the house and live on the streets? Would the Universe support me? Would things work out some home? Would I be considered a lazy good for nothing? And would it matter if I was?"


Fifteen years later, tomorrow morning I am leave to go to Edmonton. At 7 pm I am meeting with a group of people who are part of a book club. The book they just finished reading was, "In Search of Oneness." Tomorrow they are meeting for a discussion night about the book and I have been invited to attend. I have a feeling I will be connecting to these people at a soul level. In fact I suspect that through my words, in some ways I already have. It should make for an interesting and challenging evening. 

The above journal entry also struck me since I've lived exactly that at the book launches I've held in Edmonton and Kelowna. Perhaps I will also live this at my next launch, scheduled to be in High River on May 6th. Yep, all a little freaky!

Monday, 20 April 2015


I know I've pushed it too far when it hurts to pick up my pen or peck away at the keyboard. Crazy me. I don't know when to stop. When the nice weather rolls around I want to stay outside and I go a little crazy.

Been nice for two days. I've been digging, raking, cutting, pruning, weeding, mowing with a push mower, and hoeing to prepare a garden area.

As if I don't have enough of my stuff, I also took on the job of doing my neighbors yard work as well. Helps supplement the income when things slow down at the office.

If it rains every week I might not be able to keep up with the grass and the weeds. The good thing is it might help me lose a little weight doing all that moving instead of sitting at a computer or in a counselling chair all day but might also be a little too hard on this old body. I'll see how it goes.

It was a smashing day as far as the weather goes. Wind died right down to nothing. It felt so relaxing after having had that wind blow us around for the past couple of weeks. Right now I'm sitting outside of my deck and I can hear the birds singing and almost taste the silence, it's so quiet. What a difference it makes not to fight with the wind.

Yesterday was a beautiful day too. I quit my outside work around 4:30 pm because we were invited out for supper. A belated birthday supper at Edith, Jeannine and Pauline. It was a great supper and a great evening shared with good friends.

Jeannine cooked some of my favorites. A BBQ steak, baked potato, salad, and corn on the cob. Finished off with chocolate cake and ice cream. I rode my bike the 8 km there but couldn't ride it back since we played cards for 2 hours after supper and by then it was too dark to pedal my ass home.

After eating a meal like that I should have pedaled further and longer than it took me to get there but it's a nasty highway to be biking on if it's not broad daylight.

Just after supper and before dessert they gave me a beautiful meaningful card and gift. On the gift box it said: Yuppie! I found my voice!

I couldn't imagine what was inside but when I opened it I found a gorgeous little silver figurine about 6 inches high with her arms up in the air indicating she is all pumped up about something and celebrating her success. I just love it!

Saturday, 18 April 2015

I Never Know

I don't like it. I never know if I should write in my journal or post on this blog. Choosing one usually ends up meaning I abandon the other. Doesn't feel right. Feels like I'm a traitor. Like I'm somehow abandoning ship. Is there a way around this dilemma?

Should this place be for the more surface stuff and my paper journal the more intimate, juicy, raw emotional things I live? Kind of feels like I'm separating myself when I do that but maybe that's the way to go. The question then becomes does anyone even want to read the surface stuff? And the question that follows next is, does it matter when only a few people actually know that I write here and out of those few, unless they decide to leave a comment, who knows who actually comes here to read what I post?

Today turned out to be a fun day. Left home, went to Falher to gas up and pick up a bite that we could eat on the road. Headed West towards Tangent then 55 km North to the Shaftsberry Ferry which took us across the Peace River.

When we got off the ferry we drove into town, went to Canadian Tire for a few supplies then I got my bike out of the back of the SUV and biked up and down the trail that follows the river's edge through town.

Got to pick a bouquet of the first flowers of the season to bring back to Andree who was reading her book in the vehicle while I maneuvered the trails.

From there we went to the pool for a swim and a soak in the hot tub. Got out of there and went to a quaint little Mexican eating place called Su Casa Cafe. A very unique little out of the way place. A well kept secret, or so I thought, until we walked in and were lucky enough to grab the last available table.

Drove back home by the Judah Hill which makes for beautiful scenery even though it's still all gray out there. Can't wait for the leaves and the green to appear and brighten things up.

Sitting at home now, writing here, and now I'm going to pick up my paper journal and write a few more words there. If I decide to start a bigger writing project I might have an even bigger dilemma on my hands!

Sunday, 12 April 2015

Wind, Wind, Wind

Last night the chimney cap blew off the chimney and bounced across the roof and into the back yard. It's the second or third time we blow our top since we moved in here.

This afternoon we were heading out of town needing to go to High Prairie to pick up some supplies at the hardware store, (one of those purchases being a new chimney cap to replace the one that got all buggered up from it's many falls), and a metal garbage can came flying across the street causing us to swerve in the other lane in order to avoid driving on top of it.

When we walked from the car to the store, then back to the car we had to make sure to keep our mouth shut to avoid getting our teeth sandblasted from all the grit being swept off the streets and flying around. Sure made for one nasty doo I tell you! What I should of had is one of those lids that sinks down to below my ears. That might have saved the day in the hair department anyway.
After supper Andree came to help me fold the huge tarp I had covering the wood pile and when the wind caught in it, it turned into a huge parachute and it darn near had us air born .

Tonight I went for a walk and my time was 11 minutes per kilometer instead of my usual pace of 12.5 minutes per kilometer. With the wind pushing me in the back I picked up speed and for a minute there I thought I was Olympic material.

A wind powered go-cart. Now that would be fun. I should tell Ryan to get on that.

Saturday, 11 April 2015

Fed Up!

I'm fed up with my hair again. I can feel another haircut coming on. Especially when the wind is blowing across the prairies like it was today. Might do a lot more layers this time. That might settle me down for a while and make things a whole lot easier to manage. But who knows. Maybe a month from now I'll be itching for a much shorter cut leading me right back to what I used to have. I wouldn't be surprised that's what is going to happen by the time summer roles around.

Then there's the male hormones. Seems I have an overabundance of those suckers. Hair growing everywhere as if I had both feet planted in a bucket of fertilizer and was sucking it in through the pores of my skin. Just had my face waxed a short while ago it seems and I already have a new crop sprouting. My arms, they are like a gorilla and I could very well use a lawn mower when it comes to my legs. Even my nose has hairs that insist on poking out of my nostrils. I have to either tug them back in or grit my teeth and use a broad pair of tweezers, grab 5 or 6 at a time, give it a quick yank and dance my way down the hallway using a few choice words.

Life, it's so bloody hilarious sometimes! Gotta laugh - what else is one to do?

I took my books to a local Farmer's Market today. Sold a dozen or so.

Thursday, 9 April 2015

Reconnecting With Old Friends

There's some people who have remained close to my heart no matter how far apart we've been in miles or how often we got to talk to one another.

I had lunch with one of those kind of friends today.

It's such a deep feeling of connection when I can pick up where we left off even if a month, a year, or several years have slipped by since we last connected and life rolled on full speed ahead.

That's one of the priceless pieces of life I am grateful for.

Wednesday, 8 April 2015

A Peek......

...into my life the past couple of days looks like this.

Tuesday. I think I will ease back into work with a day that starts at noon.

I see my scheduled clients and I leave Peace River around 4:30 for my 50 minute drive home. I am 10 minutes from home when my phone rings. Someone asks for help with a friend who is in serious emotional distress. I get directions and tell them I will be there in 10 or 15 minutes. After assessing the situation, the decision is made to bring this person to the hospital.

We head back to Peace River. By the time I leave the hospital and get home it is 10 pm. It is too late to have a real supper. I settle for two bowls of popcorn instead and munch on that while I complete my paperwork and prepare my files for the next day. At midnight I crawl into bed and quickly fall asleep.

Wednesday. I leave for work at 8 am and return home at 8 pm. I have seen 7 clients today. There isn't much time to breathe in between sessions with that many people in one day. I could have spread them out over two days but I chose to have it this way.

I have plans for tomorrow. I'm looking forward to a different kind of day. My morning will be spent helping a friend do things that are a little too much for her. At noon I have a lunch date with an old buddy of mine, a snow bird who's been gone all winter and I can't wait to see. After lunch we plan to go for a walk so we can enjoy the sunshine and continue to shoot the breeze. And I strongly suspect that by the time we part ways, something else will have come up to fill my afternoon.

In fact I think I might know what that is already but we'll see......

And here's a peek at how much fun I had with my grandchildren this past Easter weekend. What a blast they are and how fortunate I am to have them in my life!

Monday, 6 April 2015

Weekend Meanderings

I had a lot of time to think about my weekend in High River on the 8 hour drive back home alone. I was thankful. Thankful for my three lovely daughters, their partners and my grandchildren and the time we shared together. I felt fortunate that I had the opportunity to go see them, the vehicle to make the trip with and the money for the gas to get there. I haven't always been able to do that. Least not as often as I'd of liked to.

I appreciated our time together and loved every minute of it. We laughed, loved, and lived some good moments. Shared meals. Went to a few shops. Watched a couple of movies and went swimming.

I walked the dog, read stories to the kids, thoroughly enjoyed watching the kids doing the Easter egg hunt, and took great pleasure in observing how my daughters are good parents and how they are moving forward in their lives.

My trip home was a reflection of all this and much more. It seems it wasn't so long ago it was me that was in their place. I was the one raising them.

I wondered where they will be in their lives next year, in 5 years or 10 or 15. And where I will be then. How are lives will have evolved and changed and what we will become.

Long trips alone are good times for mind meanderings. I find it interesting how the mind travels through time, past, present, future. Nevertheless, I kept coming back to the present moment and how I was filled with gratitude for what was right here, right now.

Thursday, 2 April 2015

Another Road Trip

I'm off to see my girls and my five grand-children in High River tomorrow.

It's been a very busy, busy day but I think I'll be ready to get on the road fairly early. I'm almost ready. I'm looking forward to seeing everyone. It will be neat to see the little ones doing an egg hunt.

Andree is staying home. She will be receiving all her family for supper on Easter Sunday. It's going to be a pot luck so not as much work for her. On Thanksgiving we fed everyone, her family and mine, ourselves and we said that would be the last time we were making a big meal like that. Pot luck it is from now on.

Hopefully the weather will cooperate and the roads will be good for all the travelers this holiday weekend.

    Happy Easter!