On my last visit to see my friend at the hospital I decided to visit the bird walk. I brought my journal with me knowing full well it would be my only chance to pick up my pen and write for a few minutes before heading home to visit with our company.
My journal entry:
"I'm at the end of the dock of the McLennan bird walk. I thought I'd sit here and write for a while after my visit at the hospital and before heading home. I was looking forward to soaking in the sun but a mass of black clouds have gathered and the wind has picked up so it's actually a little chilly.
Still, one feels like it's a little oasis out here in the middle of a swamp and field of various grasses and cattails.
There are a lot of birds singing although I have no idea what they are. I'm not a bird watcher really. Except for the most common ones, I know very few birds by name.
I need to write to Kim tonight. I'm not sure what to say to someone who I feel has pretty much kicked me in the teeth and I haven't spoken to in several years. It was a surprise to get her email the other day which included an attachment of a 4 page letter. Apparently she got a hold of my book "In Search of Oneness" and she had a whole lot to say about it and what it touched in her.
I am asking for guidance right now in what needs to be said and how to say it. I'm asking myself - do I want to continue to side with hurt and resentment? Do I want to carry that around in my heart and soul or do I want to live love and the sense of Oneness I speak of?
I don't want to turn my deepest loving nature over to the life of this wound. It has no purpose and it serves no one. Mark Nepo says, "The human heart no matter how often it is cut can reassert its impulse to love."
I choose to reassert love. Tonight, I will write this letter."