Sunday, 4 December 2016

What Do I Most Desire?

Perhaps this is a question I should answer in my paper journal and not here on this blog, for who knows who, to see.

Vulnerability rears it's ugly head. Questions pop in and out. What are you doing allowing others to see the real you? How will others take this? What will others say, think, feel, about me?

Annoying questions from the ego that try to deter me from living the present moment, from the spontaneous me. The one who wants to just "be," the one who can stand in her own truth no matter who's looking, listening. or reading.

After all, aren't we all the same? A desire to be seen, heard, understood. Afraid to trust - yet longing for connection and a sense of Oneness with. 

In order to become aware of my innermost desires, I have to first be able to reach deep inside and find what I am passionate about. What energizes and fuels my life and connects me to others. And where will life take me if I follow my desires, my passion? What will become of me?

And what if my innermost desire in life is to be as fully present as I can possibly be to each moment that life offers me. Whether that be to watch my grandchild throw a ball, watching the soap suds on my hands as I wash the dishes, or listening to the person sitting next to me tell me about their day.

This is what real connection and Oneness is. It's being wholly available and present to life. And this my friend, is my innermost desire. This is what I want. This is me.

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