It's almost 1 in the morning and I'm still up. Not at all unusual. In fact, more often the norm than not lately.
Tonight it doesn't really feel that late. Maybe because it took me forever to shake off last night's, or should I say, early morning dream, and it threw me off my game for part of the day.
I walked around in a stupor for a good portion of the morning unable to stay focused on or commit to any one thing.
It's a dream that periodically and unexpectedly shows up and has a reoccurring theme.
I am in a dangerous situation, usually being chased, or silenced.
I feel the rage and fear rise in my belly and I open my mouth to scream, to let others know I am in trouble. but no sound comes out. Nothing.
Usually it's a human being I am running from, last night it was a couple of weird type of animals chasing me. Closing in on me. I try hitting one on the nose thinking it will incapacitate it.
It doesn't work. I try to scream again. Still no sound except for my pounding heart.
No one will come to my rescue. I am on my own.
Dreams are symbolic. This I know.
In my case it could be related to a past life experience or it could have to do with my constant battle and need to make writing a bigger part of my life, and how I feel silenced, without voice when I don't write.
On Thursday, when a client cancelled, I took advantage of my time and sat by the river with my feet in the water and wrote in my journal. I have to do more of that. I have to make a plan.